But it’s not enough to have good friends and feel connected. Research suggests that for our health to truly flourish, we need to physically meet with our friends regularly.
A recent study analyzed data from nearly 13,000 volunteers, examining not only their number of friends, but also whether they were seeing each other. Having face-to-face contact with friends at least once a week was a good indicator of better physical and mental health. Calling or texting didn’t provide the same benefits, says Eric Kim, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia and lead author of the study.
Data collected during a gerontological study in Japan showed that men who spent little time with their friends – less than a few times a year – had a 30% higher mortality risk than those who had more frequent contact.
Although these studies only show an association — it could be that healthy people have more energy to spend time with their friends — the researchers say the relationship between in-person friendships and better health is worth thinking about. . The results come as more people forgo traditional in-person socializing. According to data from the American Time Use Survey, the average time spent with friends fell from 60 minutes per day in 2003 to just 34 minutes in 2019.
“In the United States, there is a recession in friendship,” Kim says.
Why in-person friendships are good for you
Humans are social animals and being around other friendly people reduces our risk of coronary heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease and even cancer. “No matter how you measure it, being more socially connected is associated with better health,” says Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a neuroscientist at Brigham Young University.
One of the reasons friendship is so vital to health is quite simple. Friends, Kim says, “check on people and encourage them to exercise or eat healthily.” They can also, he says, provide important information, such as “where can I get a flu shot?”
Studies have shown that socially isolated people produce more cortisol throughout the day, which is associated with cardiovascular disease and a higher overall mortality risk. “We are a social species, we are simply ready to connect with others,” explains Oliver Huxhold, a developmental psychologist at the German Center for Gerontology.
Your nose knows friendship
The benefits of face-to-face interactions may be linked to smell. When our noses pick up other people’s body odor, for example, we also tend to pick up their emotions: from anxiety to fear to happiness.
In one experiment, researchers applied electrodes to volunteers’ faces and asked them to sniff sweat samples from people who had previously watched either happy videos (“The Jungle Book”) or neutral videos ( weather forecasts). After inhaling body odor. Among the happy people, the volunteers’ facial muscles contracted in a way that suggested they also felt happier.
Communication via body odor occurs primarily on a subconscious level, and as such can sometimes be more honest than words, says Jasper de Groot, a behavioral scientist at Radboud University in the Netherlands and author of the study. “It can help you empathize with the other person,” he says.
This role of scents in perceiving other people’s emotions, he says, could explain why people with more sensitive noses tend to have a wider circle of friends and suffer less from loneliness – two important predictors of health and longevity. In one study, researchers tested volunteers’ sense of smell with the “Sniffin’ Sticks” test. Using a set of pen-shaped tubes containing various aromas and typically used for olfactory testing, they found that those with more sensitive noses also had larger social networks. Brain scans of volunteers also suggested a link between olfactory sensitivity and the size of social networks.
Smelling the body odor of a loved one can help reduce stress. When European researchers subjected a group of volunteers to mild electrical shocks, those who could sniff the T-shirts previously worn by their romantic partners remained calmer – this was reflected in the electrical conductivity of their skin, an indicator of stress. We also sleep better when we can smell a pleasant body odor: simply putting a partner’s used shirt under the pillow allows people to have more restful sleep, an effect comparable to taking a health pill. melatonin, explains de Groot.
Seeing and touching friends makes a difference
When we spend face-to-face time with friends and relatives, we can literally be on the same brain wave. According to a 2023 study, as soon as we look into each other’s eyes, the neural activity in our brains can become synchronized: during an electroencephalographic reading of two synchronized brains, the lines representing each person’s neural activity fluctuate up and down. down together. Such neural synchronization has been linked to more kindness toward others, better communication, and better cooperation. However, if we text or video chat, the neural synchronization between our brains almost disappears.
A 2024 study found that holding hands, hugs, and other friendly skin-to-skin contact can also help us sleep better and reduce stress. A daily dose of cuddles improves the functioning of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, the stress pathway. It also decreases the levels of pro-inflammatory cytokines, molecules involved in the development of diabetes and heart disease. Friendly contact can also be a powerful pain reliever. C-tactile fibers, a type of nerve fiber in human skin, respond to slow, stroking touches by sending signals to the brain that reduce the sensation of pain. Such effects have been seen for both painful medical procedures and chronic illnesses, such as Parkinson’s disease. The relief, according to research, is immediate.
Face-to-face interactions can also influence immune health. A study conducted during the coronavirus pandemic, and based on the analysis of blood samples from 142 adults, found that meeting friends in person improves the functioning of genes linked to the immune system. Such benefits, however, did not materialize for those who interacted only with their friends online.
And while texting our friends or sending them Snapchat photos is certainly a way to maintain the relationship, for a deep connection we need more than seeing a friend’s two-dimensional image on a screen. You also need other senses, like smell, says de Groot, even if you don’t realize it. “It makes all the difference,” says de Groot.