A recent study published in the journal Personal relationships highlights how mindfulness, self-compassion, and compassion for others intersect with psychological need satisfaction to influence relationship and sexual satisfaction in middle-aged married couples.
The study was grounded in self-determination theory, a general framework for understanding human motivation and well-being. The theory posits that individuals have three basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Autonomy refers to the need to feel in control of one’s actions and decisions. Competence is the need to feel effective and capable in one’s activities. Relatedness involves feeling connected to others and having meaningful relationships.
Given that mindfulness and self-compassion have been shown to improve individual well-being and relationship outcomes, this study aimed to explore their roles in the context of self-determination theory. Researchers have sought to study how mindfulness and self-compassion help meet the basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness in relationships, and how these needs, in turn, influence the relationship and sexual satisfaction.
For their study, researchers recruited 640 married Canadians aged 40 to 59 via an online survey. Participants were predominantly white (83%), with smaller representations from Southeast Asian (7%) and Black (3%) communities. The sample was predominantly heterosexual, with almost equal numbers of men and women, and a few gender non-binary individuals. Participants completed various questionnaires measuring mindfulness, self-compassion, compassion for others, need satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction.
Mindfulness was assessed using the Five Facet Mindfulness Questionnaire, which assesses observation, description, awareness, nonjudgment of inner experience, and nonreactivity. Self-compassion was measured using the Self-Compassion Scale, which includes items on kindness and understanding toward oneself. Compassion toward others was assessed using the Compassion Scale, which assesses the tendency to comfort others in distress.
Need satisfaction in relationships was measured using the Basic Psychological Need Satisfaction in Relationships Scale, which focuses on autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Relationship satisfaction was assessed using the Couple Satisfaction Index and sexual satisfaction was measured using the Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction.
Researchers found evidence to suggest that meeting basic psychological needs played a central role in improving relationships and sexual satisfaction. These needs, when met within a relationship, form a strong network of positive associations that contribute significantly to overall relational well-being.
Among the three needs, kinship – the feeling of being valued and cared for by one’s partner – emerged as the most central and impactful factor. The study showed that people who felt a strong sense of belonging with their partner had higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Competence, or feeling effective and capable within the relationship, also had a significant influence. It served as a bridge connecting mindfulness and self-compassion to other needs, demonstrating that when individuals feel competent in their relationships, they are also more likely to meet their autonomy and relatedness needs.
Mindfulness and self-compassion have been found to be indirectly associated with relationship and sexual satisfaction through their positive effects on need satisfaction. Higher levels of mindfulness and self-compassion were linked to greater satisfaction of competence needs, which then influenced satisfaction of autonomy and relatedness needs.
This suggests that mindfulness and self-compassion help individuals better meet their needs in a relationship, thereby improving overall relationship and sexual satisfaction. The strong association between mindfulness and self-compassion also highlighted their complementary roles in promoting personal and relational well-being.
Interestingly, the study found that compassion for others (other-compassion) had weaker associations with relationship and sexual satisfaction than self-compassion. Although showing compassion toward others is generally beneficial, it was meeting one’s own needs and self-compassion that had a stronger and more direct impact on relationship outcomes. This finding suggests that self-compassion may be a more critical factor for personal and relational well-being in midlife marriages than compassion toward others.
The study used psychological network modeling to map these complex interrelationships, showing how various factors are interconnected within a larger system. The needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness were found to be closely related, indicating that the satisfaction of one need is likely to positively influence the satisfaction of the others. The most significant pathways identified were those linking need satisfaction to relationship satisfaction, highlighting the importance of these basic psychological needs in maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships.
“Romantic relationships are wonderfully complex and affected by a large number of personal and interpersonal variables. We used an analytical approach that could model this complexity,” said corresponding author Christopher Quinn-Nilas of Memorial University. “Our results, although preliminary and exploratory, suggest that there may be positive relational benefits to being mindful and compassionate toward oneself. But these positive benefits appear to occur indirectly (via associations with more proximal variables, such as satisfaction of needs in the relationship), which is consistent with emerging theory in this area.
Although the study provides valuable information, it has several limitations. The cross-sectional design prevents conclusions about causality or temporal precedence. The sample was limited to married, middle-aged, mostly heterosexual, cisgender Canadians, which may limit the generalizability of the results. Future research should include more diverse samples and consider longitudinal designs to better understand the causal relationships between these variables.
Additionally, the study focused on individual data, meaning that effects on partners and dyadic interactions were not directly assessed. Future studies should explore these dynamics within couples to provide a more comprehensive understanding of how mindfulness and compassion influence relationship outcomes.
The study titled “Mindfulness Networks: Analyzing Associations with Self-Compassion, Other-Compassion, Need Fulfillment, and Satisfaction Among Mature Married Canadians” was authored by Christopher Quinn-Nilas and Robin R. Milhausen.