LLike many people, I find that stress turns me into a nasty combination of Oscar the Grouch and Scrooge McDuck. The more pressure I am under, the more irritable I feel – and the less generous I become. I partly blame our culture. I’ve read enough wellness advice to know that I need to prioritize my own needs over those of others. So, when I feel under pressure, I have often fallen into the habit of practicing small indulgences aimed at restoring my mental balance, while isolating myself from all but the most essential social commitments.
After reading the latest psychological research, I can’t help but wonder if this attitude only exacerbates my bad mood. Many new studies have shown that being kind to others is often the most effective way to suppress the physiological and psychological response to stress. Whether we donate our time to a charity, “pay it forward” at a coffee shop, or provide emotional support to a friend in need, altruism can improve our well-being in ways that we just don’t feel when treating ourselves. It seems that other care is often one of the best forms of self-care.
My interest as a science writer was first piqued by a series of articles examining the surprising vitality of volunteers. Across hundreds of studies, scientists have found that doing unpaid work for the benefit of others significantly improves well-being. These include a greater sense of meaning and purpose, greater self-esteem, greater overall life satisfaction, and a reduced risk of depression. Surprisingly, it even appears to reduce the risk of death. “The effect on mortality is truly remarkable,” says Beth Nichol, a lecturer at Northumbria University and lead author of a recent scientific review summarizing the evidence.
In large studies like these, it is always possible that a third “confounding” factor could explain the apparent link. Volunteers may be in better shape before they even begin their altruistic efforts, for example. “Health is a resource that allows us to participate in society,” explains Professor Arjen de Wit, sociologist at VU Amsterdam. Then there’s wealth: wealthier people, who can afford better medical care and therefore live longer, may be more likely to volunteer.
Scientists have tried to control for these possibilities, however, and there is still one significant result. A recent meta-analysis, for example, assessed the effects of volunteering on people aged 65 and over, based on 26 studies of the highest quality available. He concluded that the average volunteer has a 57% chance of outliving the average person who doesn’t volunteer.
A large survey by De Wit, covering data from a quarter of a million European participants, suggests the benefits could be cumulative. “If you have a year after year effect on your health, that can add up if you continue to volunteer, and that can make a difference, especially for older people,” he says.
Before signing up with a local charity, it’s worth noting that many other altruistic activities seem to provide a similar health bonus. Caring for friends or family members – through emotional support or running convenient errands – is also thought to increase longevity, for example. “The scientific evidence at this point is pretty strong,” says Tristen Inagaki, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University. “Three separate studies have shown that giving more social support to a spouse or someone else we are close to is linked to lower mortality – so more giving predicts greater longevity over periods of five, seven and 23 years old.”
Wwhy would that be? One possible explanation is that supporting others simply increases physical activity, as we strive to be helpful. Inagaki’s research, however, suggests that the benefits may lie deep in the brain’s emotional processing.
In one experiment, she asked 20 women to undergo a brain scan while holding the hand of their partner, who received unpleasant electric shocks. Inagaki found increased activity in the ventral striatum and septal area – regions known to be involved in reward – and reduced activity in the amygdala, which tends to respond to threats and danger. In other words, giving support seemed to create a warm buzz of pleasure while easing feelings of stress.
Inagaki saw a similar reaction when participants donated raffle tickets to a friend or family member. Intriguingly, the extent of this neural activity seemed linked to their usual behavior. People who endorsed statements such as “I give others a sense of comfort in times of need” saw greater changes in these key brain regions.
According to Inagaki, regions involved in stress suppression may influence the actions of the cardiovascular and immune systems, which would explain why kind and supportive behavior is associated with better health.
It’s tempting to think that we might be able to reap these benefits for ourselves while making the world a better place for others as well. The gold standard for any study is the randomized controlled trial, in which participants must receive the active treatment or a placebo. There are, however, some inherent difficulties in “prescribing” generous behavior and measuring its effects – but a few scientists have attempted to overcome these challenges, and their findings are intriguing.
Consider a study conducted by Ashley Whillans of Harvard Business School, which examined the benefits of gifts for people previously diagnosed with hypertension.
Each participant received three payments of $40, contained in a sealed bottle, over six weeks. Half were advised to treat themselves, while the others were encouraged to treat another person. “It doesn’t matter how you spend that $40, as long as you spend it on someone else,” they were told.
The result was a significant reduction in blood pressure, in addition to existing treatments for hypertension. To give specific numbers: the generous group recorded 113.85 mmHg systolic and 67.03 mmHg diastolic, compared to 120.71 and 72.97 mmHg among the interested participants. The difference is equivalent to the effects of taking blood pressure medication or adopting a new diet and exercise regime.
The greatest benefits seem to come when we combine our kind and generous behavior with meaningful social engagement. Researchers in Canada and the United States gave random passersby on a college campus a $10 Starbucks gift card. Some were asked to give the card to another person, without accompanying them to the cafe, while others were asked to join the recipient and have a drink together. A third group was encouraged to meet someone, but use the card to buy a coffee, while the fourth group was told to go to the café alone and enjoy some “me time”. » with his free drink. That evening, each participant completed questionnaires measuring their emotional well-being.
We can guess that most of the participants in the experiment were very happy to receive a free voucher, but the greatest improvement in mood went to those who treated their companion to coffee. And conversation, maximizing opportunities for social connection.
Gillian Sandstrom, professor of psychology at the University of Sussex, suspects it’s all about the feedback you receive. “I think we know intuitively that kindness is a good thing,” says Sandstrom, co-author of the coffee card study. “But if you just write a check, you don’t get the same sense of well-being as if you could see the difference you made.” This became evident when his colleagues examined the effects of charitable giving: People are more satisfied with giving money to someone personally connected to the charity than with simply putting money in a collection box.
Inagaki suspects this will be true for many types of social support; we need to know that our actions have had the desired impact. “If we believe that the care we have provided does not meet the need, does not help the person or the cause, or does not alleviate the problem, there is reason to assume that providing that type of care will be less beneficial for health,” she said. said. The effects may also depend on our sense of autonomy. Feeling obligated to cook and clean for an ungrateful family member can be very different from voluntarily offering our support to a friend who has just left the hospital, for example, and making it clear that our efforts are deeply appreciated.
There is still much to discover, particularly regarding the influence of gender. Most studies do not show consistent differences in Rising help offered by men or women, or in the health benefits of these actions. Sandstrom’s research, however, suggests that we hold sexist beliefs about types help and support we should offer, and participants tend to fear violating these norms. A man may feel less comfortable cooking chicken soup for a sick friend, while a woman may expect some sort of negative judgment for carrying out household repairs. “Researchers don’t think there’s a difference in the kindness of men and women, just how they express it,” she says. Overcoming these biases can help us find new opportunities to help others that we currently lack.
Like any psychological strategy, we must apply the lessons of this research with appropriate caution. If you’re having trouble coping, it’s always wise to establish clear personal boundaries; there is no benefit to becoming a martyr.
However, if you have the time and resources, you may find that prioritizing other caregiving is the perfect antidote to your low mood and lethargy. Despite some initial skepticism, I practice it myself. My irritability, I have realized, is often a sign that I need more contact with others, not less, and so I look for opportunities to overcome these moments of misanthropy. I invariably feel better after shifting my mental focus outward – and maybe I’ll even live longer because of it.
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David Robson is the author of The Laws of Connection: 13 Social Strategies That Will Transform Your Life, published by Canongate (£18.99). To support the Guardian And Observer order your copy from Guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply