- Having work friends has benefits for both workers and employers.
- Gallup’s Ben Wigert said that people’s best friends at work “create a sense of trust, belonging and connection.”
- From professional acquaintances to “work partners,” relationships have changed in the context of hybrid and remote work.
In the pre-pandemic days of the full-time office, Erin Mantz, 54, often had someone at work she could trust, commiserate with, rely on and have fun with — her “work spouse “.
“It’s not like a dating app,” Mantz said. “I wasn’t actively there wondering, ‘Who can I choose?’ It happened organically.”
But now Mantz no longer has a work spouse at Zeno Group, where she is vice president of employee engagement. While working on a hybrid model could be one reason, Mantz speculated that it could also be because she’s part of an older generation “at a probably younger company,” working in a smaller office than most of his colleagues, or because of his level within the company. the company.
With the rise of remote and hybrid working following the pandemic, workplace relationships have changed forever. Experts told BI that while workers tend to value more flexibility in the workplace — something remote and hybrid work allows for — younger workers might turn to in-person roles in hopes that this will facilitate social connections and deeper relationships. If they can’t, they’ll be more likely to feel alone.
Lack of friends at work can be bad news for workers and employers. Ben Wigert, research director for Gallup’s Workplace Management practice, said in a written statement that people’s best friends at work “create a sense of trust, belonging and connection.”
“Humans need each other and collaborate more effectively when they have genuine relationships,” Wigert said. “If you’re worried that a friendship is stopping people from being honest and productive, you have bigger underlying problems within your team. Great teams will attest that the people you work with make all the difference.”
Wigert noted “disruptive changes in where we work, in the pace of work, in how we serve our customers, rampant turnover and numerous restructurings.” This could mean that employees and employers need to go the extra mile to develop that camaraderie. Mantz discovered that it’s up to each person to reach out, talk to people, and make the effort to get to know them better.
“Because in this world, this hybrid world — and even if you’re not a remote worker, but maybe your company has offices across the country or around the world — you’re not going to organically being seated next to someone where you can just chat,” Mantz said. “So I think you have to push yourself a little bit to be a little more outgoing and be interested in people.”
How workplace relationships have changed
With remote work, developing a work-spouse relationship is much more difficult due to limited in-person interactions.
Vicki Salemi, a career expert for job search site Monster, said in a written statement that this type of connection may be less close when working remotely full-time than when working under a model hybrid or still working from an office.
“Plus, part of the work spouse relationship involves that person supporting you, navigating office politics and more together, and when you’re remote, there are fewer opportunities to interact in person with the social dynamics of the office,” Salemi said.
Julianna Pillemer, an assistant professor of management and organization at New York University, told BI that the rise of remote work meant we were losing key locations that often facilitate closer relationships.
“It could look like the water cooler, the copy room, the break room, the hallway where people congregate, any space that looks like a place where people happen to bump into each other,” she declared. “This has always been very important in fostering personal connections between employees.”
Still, Pillemer said, not all relationships are lost with remote work. Connecting through online interfaces like Zoom can allow coworkers to see each other’s living spaces and pets, which can often be more intimate than a water cooler chat. The problem often arises when virtual social events end up being a mandatory, over-planned burden; it’s not the same as spontaneously deciding to have a drink after work.
“One of the reasons I think Zoom happy hours have backfired so badly is because people don’t want to feel forced,” Pillemer said. “It’s an obligatory pleasure.”
Although some might view water cooler talks as just superficial small talk, Pillemer also noted that it could help spur professional development. If a person is frequently in the office and actively looking to connect with others, they might be considered first for a promotion or big project rather than someone who is entirely remote.
Wigert noted that best friends at work, spouses at work and equally strong work relationships can lead to being “more engaged, more productive and committed to their organization.”
What work friendships and spouses look like for younger and older workers
Another challenge of the modern working world is the different demands of different generations. Joseph Fuller, a professor at Harvard Business School and co-leader of the school’s Managing the Future of Work initiative, told BI that while older workers tend to be “a product of routine” and are more comfortable with the fully integrated pre-pandemic situation. Depending on a person’s work schedule, younger workers are accustomed to workplace flexibility and are less likely to give it up.
Still, Fuller said, “If you’re working a lot in a hybrid way, you’re not building friendships, you’re not expanding your personal network, you’re not meeting people to socialize with, date, whatever.” ‘other. And so you see. in their twenties, in many sectors, a real desire to go to the office.
Mantz believes the benefits of having a work spouse outweigh the drawbacks and said that while it depends on the company and work culture, she thinks people from younger or older generations by compared to Generation X don’t really have this connection.
“I see a lot of younger generations having really good, positive, friendly working relationships with people in the office,” Mantz said. “A lot of the people they work with even call friends, but I think Generation X felt the need to really form alliances. So while it was important to be friendly to everyone, I think we were a little more cynical.”
If you’re new to the workplace and don’t want to feel alone at work or just hoping to make friends at work, Mantz suggested looking into company offerings, such as buddy programs. mentoring or even workplace book clubs. Mantz also advised people to reach out to people outside their generation.
“I think it’s a very important thing to do and not to neglect, well, this person doesn’t look like me, so I’m not going to make an effort if you want, because it’s really about tying relationships and alliances,” Mantz said. “Kindness and concern go a long way, and I don’t think that changes over generations.”
What is your experience with professional friendships, work partners and loneliness at work? Contact these journalists to share on mhoff@businessinsider.com And asheffey@businessinsider.com.