Their proposals were meant to shock, to get revenge, or to get back at their parents. I never expected them to one day approach an altar with me. Both married—and divorced—women from their own socioeconomic backgrounds.
One of them was a proposal from my best friend, when we were still in high school: “If we’re both single by 40,” a decision we had made at 30, that we were too much like siblings to dream of getting married.
Last time, I seriously considered saying yes. But our lives were going in different directions and I didn’t think either of us should abandon the path we had chosen for the sake of marriage.
If I had grown up with the fantasy of marriage, I might have said yes to one of them. But marriage was never a goal or a dream for me—it’s probably because of my autism—and I knew I never wanted children.
I’ve had no problem staying single. None of my romantic relationships have ended in overt animosity, but I’ve never really heard what men think about my turning down their proposals.
They never gave me any information and I never asked them any questions. It was like rubbing salt in the wound to ask them about their feelings after they said no.
Reddit user TheBamtotheFoozle asked:
“Men Who Were Told ‘No’ to a Failed Marriage Proposal, What Happened Next?”
Too early
“My mother’s boyfriend proposed to her three months into their relationship.”
“She was 40, had already been through a disastrous marriage and a divorce, and felt it was too early in their relationship to talk about marriage.”
“He accepted her ‘no’ but said he wouldn’t ask for anything more, and he didn’t. They’ve been together for over 25 years now and have never married.”
~ Cold baker
Too cool for school
“My 7th grade teacher brought his girlfriend to school to propose to her in front of the whole class and she said ‘no’.”
“It was an almost daily topic of discussion that year.”
“Not surprisingly, he ended up changing schools at the end of the year.”
~ No_Witness_1234
On the Jumbotron
“This is not my story, but it was told to me by our jeweler when we were buying our wedding rings…”
A man comes to buy an engagement ring. The jeweler sits down with him to discuss the design, price, etc.
“Our jeweler always asks people how they’re going to propose. She loves to share the excitement.”
“Guy brags about how he’s going to propose to his girlfriend at a football game. On a big screen in front of the entire stadium while his favorite team is playing.”
“As the guy talks, our jeweler notices that everything revolves around the guy. From the ring to the proposal. No mention of what his girlfriend likes.”
“Our jeweler has a bad feeling, but he sells her the ring.”
“A short time later, the guy came back with the ring. The girlfriend said no, which didn’t really surprise the jeweler.”
~ Loud_Account_3469
Marry her father instead
“I had a foreign exchange student at my university, who I had only spoken to on the phone a few times and had never met, call my dad on Christmas morning of my freshman year.”
“He proposed to my dad. They talked for hours and my stupid dad said yes!”
“He was so out of touch with my life that he assumed this guy was my boyfriend. My dad thought I’d be thrilled, the idiot.”
I was furious, but my grandmother and mother laughed so hard they almost wet themselves, and that cheered me up.
“My grandmother told me she hoped she could embroider my wedding sari. My father didn’t have a clue.”
“I think he told my father he was rich, which was true. He was a spoiled child.”
~ AnitaIvanaMartini
Here is Al with the weather…
“This happened live on Today’s show many years ago, during the segment where the presenters/hosts were talking to people outside in the square.
“The guy proposed, the girl said no. If I remember correctly, she said they had only been dating for two weeks.”
“It was extremely embarrassing for poor Al Roker.”
~ BSB8728
Let’s wait a little
“She said to me, ‘No, but wait a minute and ask the question again and I think it will be yes.'”
“That’s what I did. We’re still married.”
~ProfessorLake
Blocked bypass
“My mother gave me permission to marry one of my exes. I had rejected his marriage proposal and was considering getting a restraining order against him.”
“After telling him that he scared me and that he had to stay away or I would call the police and get the law involved, he went to my mother’s house and had a long conversation with her about how much he loved me and that we were meant to be together.”
“My mother gave him her blessing… he was an idiot too.”
~ camichus
She said “yes”, but…
“I was dating a guy who was in a band that had a bit of a cult following. The same people would see each other in the audience over and over at different shows.”
“They agreed to never let anyone propose on stage again after an incident where a guy proposed to her on stage and she said yes.”
“But everyone could tell it was no. He showed up at a concert a few months later, alone.”
“They said it would spoil the atmosphere of the show.”
~ Sure_Tree_5042
“Oh my God, I’m a scene kid and I’ve been hanging out with bands for 20 years now. I made it clear that I NEVER wanted to be pulled on stage at a show to be proposed to.”
“All the ones I’ve seen have been embarrassing. There was a really horrible one at a Bouncing Souls show: the girl said yes, but she looked so unhappy and terrified.”
“I remember hearing guys explain why they were proposing to a girl on stage because ‘she SHOULD say yes!’”
“And it’s so manipulative and controlling it makes me want to puke. Don’t do it.”
~ these_ribbon_things
…She wanted to say “no”
“I can tell you what happens when you propose to her, but she doesn’t feel it. She says yes anyway because of social pressure.”
“A very awkward and sad moment until you finally have the conversation you should have had before you proposed.”
~therealjohnsmith
“Ugh, facts.”
“My ex proposed to me on Christmas in front of his entire family, 2 hours away from my house, with no way for me to leave.”
“I was only 18.”
~ThrowRAsleeplessmama
Open the denial of Ca! 🪄
“I was on vacation in Las Vegas in 2006. We saw one show a day during the trip. The day after Christmas we saw a magic show.”
“About halfway through the show, the magician asked a young woman in the audience to help him perform a trick. He did the usual introduction with her: she was on vacation with her boyfriend’s family and blah, blah, blah.”
“The magician does his trick and suddenly the boyfriend appears from a box that was fake empty a second ago. The boyfriend gets down on one knee, takes out the ring, launches into his declarations of love and affection and looks back on the last few years.”
“It was a nice proposition.”
“She smiles, clasps her hands in front of her face and says absolutely nothing. We in the audience are all silent and waiting to cheer and applaud, but we are waiting for her to say yes.”
“It seemed like forever, and then the magician burst into applause. He quickly led the happy couple off stage and announced, ‘She said yes!’”
“So we all applauded the happy couple. What else was he going to do?”
“They had very good seats at a table in the center of the stage and at the front. From where we could see the “happy couple” and their family.”
“When they came back, the poor girl was sitting by herself and the guy was huddled with his parents on the other side. I don’t think they spoke at all for the rest of the show.”
~eltguy
From bottom to top 🍹
“I was at a restaurant when a marriage proposal fell through. Somehow the guy managed to involve the families in this fancy dinner without the girl knowing what was going to happen.”
“He orders their drinks, he has the ring cleaned and then puts it in the bottom of his pina colada. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and that’s when some of her family members come closer with their cameras/phones ready for the proposal.”
“She comes back and they bring her the drinks. She refuses the drink, much to her dismay. But she doesn’t get the hint. She doesn’t want it.”
“You should have your drink, it’s really good.” She says NO again. It goes on and on, back and forth. Finally, she says no and is disturbed by his insistent behavior.
“I hear this from my table: ‘I can’t marry someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries.’ She gets up and walks out of the restaurant. The guy just sits there, waiting for her to calm down.”
“She doesn’t come back. So he gets the ring and has the drinks removed. She comes back towards the end and he shows her the ring and tells her it was in the drink.”
“And she slaps him and says no. This time she gets angry and leaves. Everyone packs up and heads to checkout.”
“He’s sitting there by himself. I wanted to stand up and say something, but my date was ready to go home.”
~ I am PlantHead
Yes, no, yes
“I said yes, but the next day I gave the ring back because I was scared. Then I realized I was wrong to give it back to him and luckily he gave it back to me a week later.”
“That was 43 years ago and we are still going strong.”
~ Internal Yogurt-895
Let’s wait a little while
“I proposed to her when I was 22. She said no.”
“We remained friends as life took us on different paths. About twenty-five years later, we got married.”
“I think we both needed to grow up a little. Our independent experiences gave us time to be more grounded in our expectations for a committed relationship.
~ electrical engineering
Delayed reaction
“I went to this girls’ summer camp for a few years when I was a kid. Every year, the last morning, the campers got to go on a hike that started at 2 a.m. and we were at the top of the mountain for sunrise.”
“One year, a counselor’s boyfriend came in at sunrise and proposed in front of all of us 12/13 year old girls. She said yes, we were all happy.”
“The next year, that same counselor was there. It was unusual for counselors to be married, so I asked another one if she was married.”
“She told me she called off the engagement the same day he proposed. She just didn’t want to embarrass the guy in front of a group of preteens.”
~ Timely_Cheesecake_97
Say what?
“Ten seconds later, I realized she actually said, ‘You know I will,’ and she’s just very quiet when she talks.”
~ Stratafyre
Have you ever witnessed or been the victim of a rejected proposal?