Photo illustration: Vulture; Photos: Getty Images
There’s one event at the Paris Olympics where Americans are guaranteed to win gold, and that’s the flooding of the city with our celebrities. While the French may have their boats full of athletes and a mysterious hooded torchbearer (who, while it’s tempting to believe that this secret person is Isabelle Huppert, I’m betting on a personified Mona Lisa), we have the incessant presence of celebrities in every industry: entertainment, sports, music, fashion, and the internet. In all fairness, this is the first Olympics in a while where their omnipresence makes sense: the COVID vibe was still off in Tokyo in 2021, Rio was still going awry, and it’s clear that none of the Palisades celebrities want to get involved in the Winter Olympics, no matter how much fun ice dancing is. All week long, American celebrities have been out and about in Paris, having their photos taken alongside other non-American celebrities like Charlize Theron (South African), Rosalía (Spanish), and Baz Luhrmann (Australian). If the celebrity list in Paris is our best representation of American popular culture, here’s a list of who’s who (and who’s not) Who’s Who) at this year’s Games, ranging from power player to backup.
Naomi Osaka
The tennis star is playing for Japan in her second Olympics. No one’s presence could be less random — she’s here to win!
Lebron James
James is the de facto leader of the U.S. basketball team this year, 20 years after he first played for the national team at age 19. Beyond his obvious athleticism and the fact that he’s here to win the Olympics, he fits into almost every sporting event on the planet. He’s not just an American celebrity; he may be one of the most famous people on the planet.
Tom Cruise Tom Cruise’s entire career has been shaped around the fact that he should to be able to compete in the Olympics for the most times fallen from an airplane.
Ashlyn Harris
Harris plays for the U.S. women’s soccer team — her first Olympic appearance, sure, but by no means her first time coordinating outfits with…
Sophia Bush
Bush and Harris made headlines last fall for their surprise reunion after their respective splits. Since then, the two have been very attached (I don’t think public displays of affection (PDA) are an Olympic event anymore). Bush and Harris may well be the most high-profile American athlete and celebrity couple at this year’s Olympics, which means expect plenty of photos of Bush during the U.S. women’s soccer games.
Serena Williams
Is returning to the Olympics as a retired athlete like going to a high school reunion?
Zendaya
Playing a fake athlete in a movie is pretty much like playing a real athlete in the Olympics. From what we know, Tashi Duncan will be facing Naomi Osaka in a few days.
Lady Gaga
Gaga’s song-and-dance routine on the gilded steps of the Seine, complete with pink feathers, red lipstick and a fake beauty mark, cements her place as one of America’s greatest exports, capable of performing in both Joker: Madness for Two and the opening ceremonies of another country’s Olympic Games. Thanks, Nurtec!
Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend
Oh brother, what do these two NOT want to do?
Pharrell Williams
Williams currently works as the artistic director of Louis Vuitton’s men’s collection, which hosted a “Prelude to the Olympics” event Thursday night. Being the celebrity that brings all the other celebrities together is a necessary part of any kind of international import/export job.
Emma Chamberlain
The YouTuber turned presenter turned “It” girl is the youngest American celebrity at this year’s Olympics, no doubt in town to talk to Gen Z about all our athletes.
Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg isn’t just another American celebrity at this year’s Olympics. He also carried the torch, running through the suburbs of France to carry it to its final flame. Additionally, the iconic rapper and host is part of NBC’s commentary team, currently in the stands with Hoda Kotb and Team Biles, Simone’s family. “A big shoutout to the baby who keeps giving me the evil eye,” he said of one of Biles’ youngest relatives. He can keep showing up at every Olympics he wants.
John Mulaney
Mulaney, like his fellow celebrity exporters, appeared at the Louis Vuitton Prelude event, which was slightly surprising given his criticism of the upcoming Los Angeles Olympics during his Everyone is in Los Angeles comedy special.
Queen Latifah
Of course American royalty is at the Olympics!
Halle Berry
Berry had the honor of carrying the torch in Cannes over a month ago, so it’s only fitting that she’s able to attend the Games! Presumably she’s been walking to Paris ever since.
Jeremy Allen White
This is where we enter the somewhat random category of American celebrity. Sure, White plays a chef on TV… and France is known for its cuisine… but his presence can’t save The bearReviews of the third season of.
Sydney Sweeney
Is Sweeney really at the Olympics? She’s probably in Paris doing some sponsorship for Galaxy, which just goes to show that one of our biggest national exports is getting paid to make an Instagram post.
Salma Hayek
We could have used some of the energy that Hayek brought to Magic Mike’s Last Dance to the rain-soaked dance scenes of the opening ceremony.
Elizabeth Banks
Elizabeth Banks doesn’t have a new movie coming out, or a new TV show, and she doesn’t have much connection to the world of international athletics… Is she just an Olympic fan? Is she in Paris for unrelated reasons? Is she thrilled they added breakdancing?
Jessica Chastain
Chastain stars in Maternal instinct starring Anne Hathaway, a remake of a 2018 French film of the same title. She is believed to be in Paris to celebrate the film’s U.S. release.
Ariana Grande
It may seem like election season in America is long, but I promise you that Wicked the promotional cycle is much longer.
Minions
Illumination may be a French company, but still: no sovereign nation deserves the Minions, not even Bob.
Elon Musk
To quote Demi Lovato: “GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HER.”
Christopher Meloni
Meloni is, in my opinion, the most random and perfect American celebrity to attend the Paris Olympics. He’s an NBC television star, beloved for playing a police detective, and if that’s not the most American thing ever, I don’t know what is.