A Confusing Duo Created in the Marvel Cinematic Universe: Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. Doom

At San Diego Comic-Con this weekend, Marvel Studios announced that Robert Downey Jr. will return to the Marvel Cinematic Universe in two upcoming films, Avengers: Judgment Day And Avengers: Secret Warsboth directed by the Russo brothers.

The twist: RDJ won’t be playing the very, very dead MCU mainstay Tony Stark/Iron Man; instead, he’ll be taking on the role of iconic Marvel Comics villain Victor von Doom/Doctor Doom.

There’s every reason to think, given the current state of the MCU (read: a frothy stew of universes, timelines, variants, and doppelgangers bubbling together over medium-high heat), that there’s a logical narrative reason for the studio to turn to the guy who played Iron Man to play Doctor Doom, and that reason goes a little deeper than “Hey, look, they both have metal masks!”

Fans, unsurprisingly, took to the internet to weigh in on the announcement. Some were optimistic, many complained that it was a creative step backwards — nothing more than Marvel’s IP-generating machine getting into a cross-platform defensive posture.

You and I, the reader, can let others overreact to what is, at this point, a simple casting announcement. We, on the other hand, will approach this news in a more systematic manner.

A striking contrast

If you’re old enough to remember when they announced that Robert Downey Jr. had been cast as Tony Stark (And you were nerdy enough at the time to know who Tony Stark was), you will remember having one and only one reaction: Well, course.

Downey and Stark’s affinity—the arrogance, the sarcasm, a public history of substance abuse—made this pairing seem obvious, perfect, even inevitable. A honeyed peg finding its smirking hole. Everything that came after—the quick asides, the off-the-cuff references, the insufferable charm, the cheesy goatee—helped establish and grow the MCU.

Let’s go back to last weekend’s announcement. I would say that the collective reaction we’re experiencing at this particular cultural moment is less of a, “Well, sure, course”, and no more “Wait, What NOW?”

There’s a reason for that, and it has to do with the character of Doctor Doom himself. Robert Downey Jr. slips into Tony Stark’s shoes like a hand slips into a soft suede driving glove.

Conversely, Robert Downey Jr. slips into the character of Victor von Doom like a box of crayons slips into an industrial hydraulic press. We know what happens next will be dramatic and colorful, yes. But it’s not the best use of those crayons, and someoneI’m going to have to spend hours cleaning this damn press.

Make no mistake: Downey, as an actor, is more than Stark. He’s played Chaplin, he’s played Sherlock Holmes, he just won an Oscar for his role as Lewis Strauss, a political crook who has nothing to do with Tony.

But there is such a thing as an actor’s public persona, and how it resonates with a given pre-established character. Or in this case, how it WOW truly not.

Because Victor von Doom, as he exists in the comics, is a malevolent, vengeful, power-hungry despot who dreams only of conquest. He is not laid back. He is not a joker.

Nor does he have a habit of muttering obscure insults out of the corner of his mouth or goading his colleagues into action by making AP-level pop culture references. He’s not shady, he doesn’t let himself go, he’s not the kind of guy you’d call “suave,” just as you’d never imagine him holding a whiskey in his hand.

No, Doctor Doom, the supreme leader of Latveria, stands erect, his feet always much wider than shoulder-width apart. He is often seen raising one or both fists in front of him (which prevents drinking whisky). He tends to bark short, declarative sentences. “Curses!” “Bah!” “You fool!” “Kneel!” “Kneel, you fool!” That sort of thing.

Oh, and he talks about himself in the third person. It’s very Doom stuff.

But let’s try to approach this casting news with an objective and analytical distance.

Below I will list several classic Doctor Doom quotes taken directly from the comics. Our task will be to determine together how easily we can imagine these quotes being recited by the beloved and multi-award winning actor, Mr. Robert Downey Jr.

We’ll use a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “No, sorry, I can’t imagine at all” to 10 being “No hard feelings, Point Break; you have a terrific swing.”

Can you easily imagine RDJ saying…

“Fools! Such insolence will not go unpunished!” – Amazing Tales Vol. 1, 4

Arrogance is in order, but vocabulary is certainly not. “Dolts” is far too basic an insult; RDJ would add a pop culture twist to it. “Hey, Dumb and even dumber”, perhaps. But even then, it’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Three out of 10.

“The mighty Avengers! BAH!” – A team of super villains Vol. 1, 9

However you want to look at it, “BAH!” is a really hard sentiment to express without flinching these days. (That’s too bad!) And RDJ’s default setting of ironic detachment certainly won’t help in that endeavor.

Two out of 10.

“Only Doom dares to dream! All others serve!” – Iron Man Vol. 1, 102

Wow, that’s harsh. Too hard to believe, coming from the mouth of such a charming and voluble thug.

Two out of 10.

“This game will soon reach its inevitable conclusion – and the final triumph will belong to Doctor Doom!” – Fantastic Four: The World’s Best Comic Book Magazine Vol. 1, 3

Again, it is not the sentiment itself that matters, it is the high, arched language in which it is couched. RDJ does not say “shall” when “will” will do.

Four out of 10.

“Yes! May misfortune befall the heavens as well as the earth!” – guardians of the galaxy Vol. 6, 17

I can’t imagine RDJ coming out of his mouth and stating his intentions so emphatically. Where’s the oblique charm, the seduction, the disarming wit? The quote is full of arrogance – too much, probably – but arrogance has to be backed up by charisma for it to work. Now, you could say that RDJ has tons and tons of charisma. So I don’t know. Maybe under a very specific set of conditions, he could pull it off?

Five out of 10?

“Fools! I am Doom the Destroyer! I have shattered worlds to taunt you! I have shattered universes to mock you! I have taken what was yours and made it mine! Face me at your peril, if you dare face me!” – New Avengers Vol. 3, 33

Well, I mean, “Fools!” is less archaic than “Dolts!” but not by much. That quote is just a litany of gloating, and while you can certainly imagine RDJ belittling you at a bar, he would never do it this bluntly.

One in 10.