My internship at Bridgewater Associates was like an episode of “Black Mirror.”

The summer after my sophomore and junior years at Harvard University, I interned at Bridgewater Associates, the largest hedge fund in the world. Its intense culture is not suitable for everyone. Founder Ray Dalio once said that about 30% of employees quit within the first 18 months.

And while I definitely see parallels between my time at Bridgewater and that episode of “Black Mirror,” I look back fondly on my time there. If I hadn’t gone to law school, I 100% would have gone back to work full time.

I was attracted to Bridgewater’s principle of meaningful work

During my sophomore year, I heard about Bridgewater from a fellow student at a social club I was in at Harvard. She had been recruited as an investment associate and was looking for others interested in working there.

I did some research and was drawn to the fact that one of Bridgewater’s main tenets is about meaningful work and relationships. She told me about an executive associate position and helped me submit my resume.

After applying, I had to take a Myers-Briggs personality type test and several other screening tests. Next, we had a full-day interview at the Bridgewater campus in Westport, CT.

Authenticity is a big thing at Bridgewater, so I went into the interview wanting to be completely myself.

I was first placed in a room with other candidates for a moderated debate-style interview. The rest of the day was devoted to several rounds of interviews with managers. Some were case studies – somewhat similar to consulting – and others involved probing questions about who I was as a person. How did you grow up? Are you an only child? How do you think this affected you? How do you think this affects your teamwork style? What wakes you up in the morning? How do you handle criticism?

The interviewers I had were incredibly empathetic and our conversation felt real and vulnerable.

About a week or two later, I received a call saying I had gotten the job. When I saw my offer, I said to myself: whoa, that’s a lot of money – and great perks like housing, transportation and a signing bonus, it really was a no-brainer. I thought, I’m working on it 100%.

The internship was incredibly fun

Most of the interns lived together in dorms during the summer, which was really cool and special. To help us bond, we organized fun activities like group dinners, our own version of Tough Mudder, and a scavenger hunt.

Every day we arrived on campus around 8 a.m. and left around 7 p.m. I was a management associate intern in the CEO’s office and we did virtually every special project the CEO needed. I have worked on numerous diversity initiatives, looking at how to make Bridgewater more streamlined and accessible to employees.

At the time, Dalio’s book “Principles: Life and Work” had not yet been released, so one of our tasks was to read the manuscript and give our opinion on it.

Ranking each other was a big part of Bridgewater’s culture

We ranked people daily using numbered “points”, which made it possible to check in real time how everyone was doing.

At each meeting, we each had an iPad in front of us, displaying a list of everyone else present. Throughout the meeting, we gave people points for things like humility, composure, willingness to strike a chord, open-mindedness, and assertiveness. By the end of the meeting, our entire screen would just be filled with dots – some red, some green. It can get distracting sometimes – like, who gave me a three? – but we would try to ignore it and stay in the moment.

Because we were constantly being evaluated on what we said, people were much more aware when they spoke. Instead of talking just for the sake of talking, people tried to present their arguments succinctly and easily understood, otherwise they would get a negative point.

This criticism was not limited to peers or supervisees. We were also encouraged to give points to our bosses, managers and even CEOs.

The score results were printed on our “baseball cards,” which contained information about each employee’s role as well as their strengths and weaknesses, to create a more vivid picture of what each of us was like.

Everything was recorded

Radical truth and radical transparency were very important at Bridgewater. Everything was recorded. If I wanted to go back and see why I got a certain point, I could go back to the recording and listen to what I said. I could even check my friends’ scores and see how they were doing each day, even if I wasn’t in the meeting.

My friend once threw her water bottle in the trash rather than recycling it. I don’t know who saw it, but someone gave it a negative. It made me realize, wow, people really care on a microscopic level and they care about you.

Pain + reflection = progress

At first, it was difficult to get so much consistent feedback. Sometimes I was like, oh, it’s hard. It’s never nice to hear that you didn’t do something right or that someone didn’t like something you said. We had a button on our iPads that we could press whenever we felt pain, and then we would write a thought about the situation. The idea was that pain and reflection equaled progress.

Depending on the severity of the pain or what happened, we would sometimes organize a diagnostic session to get to the root of the problem, for example if someone’s ego was preventing them from asking for help. help. These sessions could be uncomfortable at times, but ultimately they were very helpful and led to growth and better daily operations.

I was really good at receiving constructive feedback and was always very high on the humility scale. I like to improve myself and have a growth mindset rather than taking things personally. On days when I felt a little more sensitive or emotional, I didn’t want to hear more critical feedback. But when I was able to come back to it from a less emotional point of view, I said to myself: oh, ok, they were right here.

Dalio wanted us to try to remove our ego from our work as much as possible and really turn toward a higher self. From time to time, we had to do something called “strength ranking”, in which we ranked our team members based on who was the most and least useful. It never felt good to be at the bottom of this ladder, which happened to me several times.

Many smart people who go to elite schools are used to being the best at everything and being on top all the time, but that’s not realistic. There will be days when you’re great, and then there will be days when you might not be.

In Bridgewater it was impossible to hide this fact.

Gossip was not allowed

It was a gossip-free environment. We were not allowed to talk about others behind their backs – a fundamental principle was to speak frankly, to say it to the other person’s face, to score points and to be transparent.

If you were talking about someone at work, you will need to send them this tape afterwards. When I received my full-time offer to join Bridgewater, my manager sent me the recording of their deliberations and I was able to hear what they really thought of me while I wasn’t in the room .

I think that’s really valuable, especially in this day and age where some corporate environments involve falsehoods and niceties and people aren’t being upfront about what they really think about you and your work.

In Bridgewater, there was none of that. It seems counterintuitive, but the constant check-ins have encouraged us to be more open and put everything on the table – there’s no incentive not to.

I really appreciated the honesty. Now that we’re in the law field, there’s so much going on sometimes that we don’t necessarily get direct feedback all the time. As with most businesses, feedback usually occurs during an annual or semi-annual review, and sometimes by that time the problem has become more serious.

With the point system at Bridgewater, if there was a problem, we would know it the same day and it would be diagnosed the same week. I miss this part.

The best ideas won

We were really encouraged to push back against supervisors and superiors, because one of the principles was that we were a meritocracy idea and the best idea would rise to the top, not based on the seniority of the person doing it. presented.

Because debating and disagreeing with each other was encouraged, I learned a lot from my colleagues. I have had my views questioned and I have questioned theirs. I can’t imagine another workplace like this that allows for this type of growth and honest feedback.

My experience made me who I am today

I think the culture at Bridgewater might be a little different now, especially because Ray Dalio isn’t there anymore. But I can’t emphasize enough how transformative and eye-opening my experience was. It has helped shape who I am today, particularly how I view feedback, work, and the relationships I have at work.

I have never worked with a more brilliant group of unique people. There were poker stars, musicians and people who wrote comedies. We all did so many different things, but we were united under the Bridgewater umbrella and we really went to work and gave it our all.

This experience prepared me for life, much more than just a corporate career. It helped me develop thicker skin; Nothing much bothers me anymore.

A few years after working at Bridgewater, I was on “The Bachelor.” People were scrutinizing me and saying so many mean and horrible things.

My experience at Bridgewater prepared me to understand that everyone will have judgments or perceptions about you, but you don’t have to consider them all. We always said, “It’s just a point.”

A single point does not constitute a complete picture. You will get thousands and thousands of points; take this review for what it is.

A representative for Bridgewater Associates declined to comment.

If you’ve experienced a particularly demanding work culture and want to share your story, email Jane Zhang at janezhang@businessinsider.com.